I've never been good at make up. It's a skill I don't have. Professionally, I often hid behind face paint because it was easier. Most people reading this will know I work in circus, so face paint is a viable choice, but if you didn't know that, Hey! I'm Jana, I work in the circus. :)
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| Face paint, ice rink themed! Photo by Ron Tencati. |
The more paint on my face, the less confident I felt that day. The reverse is also true, the less I make myself up, the better I feel.
Before I go any further, let me say this. If you love make up, if it's fun for you, if it's your art, if you enjoy expressing yourself with make up, awesome! I think that's terrific. You do you and I'm all about it. I think you're gorgeous and I'm in awe of your skill. Seriously, you're killin' it.
But for me, makeup is not something I enjoy. It's a chore and it I don't like how it feels on my face. I struggle to keep from wiping it off the whole time I'm wearing it, particularly eye make up. The first thing I gave up was eyeliner/mascara and I swear it was life changing. All of a sudden, my eyes were comfortable!
Some of you are thinking,
well of course Jana, cheap make up would feel terrible on your face. But I did the thing guys! I went to Sephora, I scoured the internet, I had professionals choose products for me and I still hated the way they felt.
We indoctrinate young girls with toy make up products from toddlerhood onward. I remember begging for these when I was little.
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| My kid self would have LOVED this! |
From an early age make up is a prized possession to be hoarded. As a kid, putting on toy make up meant feeling special. Putting on *real* make up meant something special was definitely afoot...a dance recital, competition day when I was a gymnast, something good.
I'm not sure when make up transitioned from a fun activity to a necessary, expensive burden. It happened slowly and took a while to realize.
Here's a video I made, with no make up, even though I felt like I should probably put on make up to film a video. I'm still getting used to my new found make up free life.
If that was the first time you've heard of trichotillomania, stay tuned, I plan to write more extensively about it soon. I've had it as long as I can remember, and it's caused a lot of stress and shame over the years. I'm finally beginning to just accept that it's part of me and that's okay, so if I can help anyone with that disorder, I want to.
Here are the four products I continue to use somewhat regularly, because I spend so much time outdoors. Sunscreen is a necessary evil.
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Lubriderm Daily Moisture Lotion SPF 15
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Make Up Forever Ultra HD Foundation (mixed with the lotion to tint it)
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Sephora "Blush Me" in the color "Crazed and Confused" which I find appropriate!
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Shiseido Powder Broad Spectrum SPF 30
Do you have a recommendation for a good sunscreen that's weightless and not oily? Please let me know. I would love a better sunscreen. I've never found one I like. Leave your recs in the comments!
Right now I'm enjoying my mostly-make-up-free life quite a lot. However, I reserve the right to change my mind. So if you come to the show one day and I've got eyeliner out to my ears, know that it's because I truly felt like doing it up that day! And if you see my minimal look, know that I felt like having a naked face and that's okay too!
I hope you do whatever you feel like doing, and stop worrying about other people's opinions or expectations. You're awesome just the way you are!
Check out the one make up product I'm still *always* going to want in my kit...
mystery product...and remember, if you use my link to get to amazon for your purchases, Circus Stella will get a small commission of whatever you buy, even if it isn't
this. Or if you'd like a free trial of
AmazonFresh,
Kindle Unlimited, or even
Amazon Prime, please remember to use our links! Thank you friends.
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| Mabel rocking some eyebrow pencil realness. |
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